Inside My Head

the literary rantings of Angie Frissore

Defeating The Demons of Damon

All I had wanted was a logical reason explaining why I had such a propensity to allow him back into my life with ease, only to be ultimately let down, over and over again.  I knew it couldn’t possibly be loneliness – I’d been lonely many, many times before and knew better than to use some unworthy, pathetic soul to fill an unknown void in my life.

It was more than that.  At times it was as if he had some kind of power over me – though he never claimed to love me I often acted as if he did anyway.  I let my whole psyche be influenced by his actions, his words, his lack of words, his lack of action.

His lack of action.

It would be very easy to sit back and absorb the blame, especially after identifying the root cause of my pseudo-obsession with him.  But he was no normal, morally-strong individual, no – he preyed on my weaknesses and exploited my feelings, oftentimes telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, but standing back safely behind his many excuses and ‘situations’.

Heaven knows I tried to walk away…often.  With each hostile final word, there would be a week or two of radio silence before his curiosity got the better of him and he tried to contact me.  And I always gave in.

This time around, I’m armed.  I know what always drew me to him, and it wasn’t him at all.  It was something altogether terrifying and reassuring at the same time.  It was something I could control. I was no longer emotionally at his mercy, and had made that fact poignantly clear to him.

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November 12, 2008 - Posted by | No Messages - Excerpts from the Draft | , ,

1 Comment »

  1. These last two are pretty good, Ang. I’ve decided I’m officially racing you to the publishing world. I’ve gotta get on it, and will maybe have to sell Alex, but it’ll be worth it.

    Comment by Mike | December 13, 2008 | Reply


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