Inside My Head

the literary rantings of Angie Frissore

Realization, take 24.

Sometimes you have to just learn to cut your losses and walk away.

Oftentimes in the past, situations like these had always been very easy for me. I was historically very good with a match when it came to the various social bridges I’d encountered over time. I was also rather good at assessing a situation and maintaining the appropriate attitude towards it. I knew how to keep myself out of trouble emotionally.

I wanted to walk away from it. Over a period of just over a year and a half, I had tried to walk away maybe two dozen times. He kept pulling me back into it…not with any grand promises of change or expressions of love, no – those he never offered. He instead contended that I had nothing better to do, so why not hang out with him? He even went as far as to state he’d step aside should something better come along. Well, that seemed like a pretty sweet deal, considering the very loose criteria for ‘something better’.

For awhile there, I did well, mainly because of the southern man, who at the time was occupying a considerable portion of my mind. Quite naturally, I found myself acting with such nonchalance towards him that it seemed as though it was actually attracting him. He seemed mesmerized by me on the rare occasions where we saw each other. But, inevitably, his old tricks resurfaced as the calls lessened, texts went unreturned, and plans broken. I had already assumed I had been replaced as his primary booty call, but it was fun to watch him squirm as he tried to hide that fact.

I came to the point where it was simply exhausting to even deal with him. The second a text message would come through from him, my stomach would turn and I would wish that he would simply…disappear. Today was the day where I figuratively threw my hands up in the air and pointed out that there was a massive amount of time being wasted on this by both parties. I had reached my threshold and could not even muster any lashing out or harsh words. I simply stated that he shouldn’t bother to email me as he said he would. There was just no point to it.

I mean, really…what WAS the point?

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September 9, 2008 - Posted by | No Messages - Excerpts from the Draft | , ,

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